13 things to consider as a John
When you’re desiring the company of an adult services provider, it’s easy to assume many things about how the set up works. What you see in the movies and the things you fantasize about are not fully realistic, disappointingly enough. If you are new to the industry, you may be left with unfulfilled expectations. In fact, you will discover that being a customer has its own set of challenges requiring you to follow rules and obey guidelines. Before you get fully involved with scheduling a gig with your own adult entertainer, let’s walk through this list:
Your adult services provider is not going to spend lots of time on the phone with you. Whether you’re seeking the girlfriend experience or just want to order up a private dance in your hotel room while out of town, your provider is going to speak with you just long enough to answer pertinent questions, schedule the booking and explain her rules. If you’re nervous or feel you need extra attention during the booking process, you may be let down. Adult entertainers get paid for the time they spend with you. They don’t earn income from talking to you on the phone or emailing long-winded notes back and forth prior to a meeting. They will be courteous and nice, but if you think they will engage in full-blown dirty talk over the phone or in extended conversations, you are dead wrong. And, if you try to get them to participate in lengthy discussions, they may chalk you up to being a timewaster and avoid scheduling a gig with you. (This is not your goal AT ALL!) Follow her lead and approach the booking process tentatively. She won’t steer you wrong.
Don’t push your luck with extraneous contact afterward. Texting, calling or messaging afterward, just to say “hi” will not earn you brownie points from your provider. While you may think she will appreciate your follow-up or feedback, she really isn’t interested in over-the-phone critiques or praises. If you want to get back in touch with her to schedule more activities, that’s great. But, don’t call her up to see how she’s doing. Or, to see if she got home safely. It’s not your problem, nor is it your business. By trying to establish contact for anything other than booking another gig, you are crossing boundaries into her personal life. She will not feel that you are a good candidate for future bookings, if you’re not careful. Realize that no matter how nice she was to you during the time you spent with her, she doesn’t appreciate you calling her uninvited to just check in. That doesn’t fly with escorts.
Don’t ask her about other clients. It’s a fact that you’re not her only client or customer. You know that. And, she knows that you know that. Asking her questions about her other clients or suggesting that she tell you details about her adventures with them is crossing boundaries. If you act too suspicious about them or ask too many questions, she’ll put you in the creepy category. You will also appear jealous. Neither of these traits are ones you want to be associated with by your adult services provider. If you’re trying to brainstorm new activities that she’d be willing to engage in with you, ask about them. Don’t ask if she’s done with them other clients and how they were. If you are curious about how you rank compared to other clients, don’t even bother asking. (She will probably tell you that you’re the best/biggest/richest/nicest/etc., anyways.) But, honestly, she doesn’t like to compare her clients or attempt to rate them. To her, all clients are equally valuable. There is no reason to worry about your sessions with her and how they compare to others.
Don’t give “bad” gifts. Think about the value and appeal of any gift you present to your provider. Used items may still have worth, but they are not highly desired by any adult entertainer. (Think: gently used purse, pre-owned/used make-up, a half-full bottle of perfume!) Gift cards are great — but, make sure they have credit on them and are for locations that your provider enjoys shopping. Giving her a left-over K-mart card from Christmas is not very suave. Make sure your gift relays something about who you are as a customer/client and what you think of her as a provider. Electronics are great options — if your provider needs them. If not, she can always regift them or sell them outright. Designer perfume or accessories are great — but, make sure they are in the same style that your provider prefers or the scent she likes. Your provider will think the world of you if you give gifts she really likes. But, she won’t be so pleased if you present her with something she has absolutely no use for, in hopes of getting recognition from her. In lieu of giving a gift if you’re unsure about her tastes, it’s always proper to provide a tip. BUT — keep in mind that no gift or tip is EVER required.
Realize that a gift is not equivalent to payment. Once you’ve mastered giving worthy gifts to your provider, you should NEVER expect it to trade out for the payment she is expecting from you. (Unless, of course, both of you have agreed to this prior to meeting up.) Providers rely on the rates they charge clients and customers to pay their bills. Even if you deliver the newest Mac laptop, it’s not going to keep the electric company from shutting off her power. While gifts are awesome to receive, providers charge fees for their services for a reason. They work up budgets for their lives, just like everyone else. And, they expect to be paid in a form that will help them fund their lives and expenses… both personal and professional. So, as you consider giving a gift to your favorite provider, you need to make sure you are amenable to the fee you pay AND the amount of the gift you are giving, without expecting any sort of discount or fee waiver.
Any expenses for your time with your provider are your responsibility. As you make special requests of your adult entertainment provider, the cost of your time with her may go up. If you request special costuming that she doesn’t already have access to, there may be a cost associated with it. If you want to incorporate some interesting props into her show or your experience, you may have to pay for them. Anything beyond standard services may cost you extra, simply due to the fact that there are costs incurred to fulfill your wishes. And, if you require an escort/dancer/entertainer to travel a long distance to you, she will expect for you to cover that bill. A provider may charge you her rate — and, then tack on all incidental expenditures. Or, she may just quote an increased fee to cover all extra costs. Either way, it shouldn’t surprise you when the fee is more than the “standard.” However, standard parking fees, her cab fare or other general expenses are not your responsibility. (She should have her fee figured accordingly so she still makes a profit after usual budget items.)
Know that everyone is “special.” When you’re at the club, it’s nice to think that you are your favorite dancer’s favorite customer. It’s only human nature. But, it’s essential for you to realize, deep down, that any client who pays her special attention and tips well (or pays for services) is going to be “special” to her. While you and she may have inside jokes or things you have in common, she as bonds with other customers, too. Assuming that you are her favored customer is only setting yourself up for disappointment when you see her snuggled up with someone else or she can’t make time for you. Disappointment, jealousy and a full range of other emotions could visit you if you don’t see the reality of your professional relationship with your provider. Of course, she likes you. Of course, she tells you that you’re special. But, don’t get hung up on all of that. She’s creating a fantasy for you. It’s not always the full truth.
Use caution with your words. Even when a customer thinks he’s being nice or helpful, the words actually come out somewhat insulting to a provider. Clients/customers who tell a provider that she could do better for herself don’t realize that it’s an insinuation that her role in life is somehow substandard or unacceptable. It’s a direct suggestion that her career isn’t really good enough for general members of society. When a client/customer tells a provider that he doesn’t usually do “this” as he books an encounter, it’s a statement that suggests the act is dirty or secondary to his usual beliefs. And, while the client or customer may feel that he’s speaking the truth, it’s an insult to a provider’s way of life. Comments about her weight, appearance, style, abilities or other traits — especially when they compare to other women or providers — are often condescending or critical… Even when they aren’t intended to be. Pay attention to your words and notice how they may be construed before you speak them. Unintentional slurs or insults are easy ways to ruin your relationship with providers.
Keep experiences to yourself. Discretion in this business is valued highly. What happens between you and one provider should never be shared with others. It is private… intimate. If you are discussing your overall experiences in the industry with another provider, it’s fine to share minimal details. But, it’s entirely different to explain, in graphic descriptions, about what you did with her. There is a certain understanding that what happens behind closed doors, stays there. Even if you’re recommending a provider to a friend or colleague. Specific information should be left out. If, on the off chance, your provider has given you special privileges, she sure won’t be happy if another customer comes to her asking for the same services, she’s only reserved for you. Or, if somehow your urge to overindulge others with your stories ends up damaging her efforts to disguise her identity or causes her other issues, she may block you as a client forever. AND — if you are too gabby about your adventures, some of your friends, family members or colleagues may learn about your secret life. That may not be good in your world! Be discreet and respect her privacy — and, yours!
Adhere to her boundaries. An adult services provider always has boundaries that she expects you to respect. She may prohibit certain services. Asking for them or trying to persuade her to extend her allowances with you is pushing her boundaries. She may expect you to realize that contact outside of the booking process is frowned upon. Don’t do it. Boundaries also include staying within your specific timeframe booked — don’t try to eke out extra time or stay longer than you’re supposed to. Don’t bring your friends. Find out what her dos and don’ts are and adhere to them. When you do, you earn a lot of brownie points in her eyes. When you don’t, though, you lose a lot of respect and opportunities for bookings
Follow her directions. It happens so many times. A provider may tell a client how to arrive, which door to use or any number of other things… but, the client doesn’t pay attention. Listen to your instructions and do your best to follow them. They are not because she is OCD or a control freak. She gives you directions to ensure discretion, ease of arrival and lots of other things. She may give you detailed ways to provide the fee — and, if you don’t follow her methods, you may be booted from future opportunities. She expects for her customers and clients to pay attention to her and follow through on what’s asked of them. If you can’t, you may need to find another provider.
Be respectful to her through your appearance and manners. Always show up clean, in nice clothing and well groomed. You don’t have to go out and buy new clothes or anything fancy. Just look nice and exhibit good hygiene. Avoid wearing too much cologne or aftershave. A little is nice — a lot is not. And, don’t show up for an appointment with your provider drunk or high. She doesn’t want to deal with you when you’re under the influence. If you spend time with her in the club where she works, try not to drink too much prior to spending time with her. Although she may be accustomed to intoxicated customers, don’t be one. And, use your manners. Be complimentary and grateful for her attention. Demonstrate respect and you’ll get a lot more fun from her, overall!
Enjoy what you get and don’t dwell on what you didn’t. It’s great to have fantasies about your experiences with a provider. However, not every provider is going to fulfill every goal you have for your adventures with her. Sometimes, you’re going to get more fun than you expected. Other times, you may feel like it wasn’t as great as you’d hoped it might be. It isn’t always her fault or due to any specific reasons. It just happens sometimes. So, the best way to look at it is to enjoy the fact that you got to spend time with a beautiful woman and receive some of her attention. Be happy.