Things Ive learned in the industry
Here is a list of things I didn't know until I became a stripper and then more so after I became an escort. So if you're an escort, here is some things you will learn about yourself once in the adult industry:
You can keep secrets. Discretion is the name of the game on so many levels when you’re an adult entertainment services provider. One of the most important secrets you are probably keeping is the one about your career. Even though it’s completely honest work that you should never be ashamed of, you probably feel as though you can’t be completely honest about what you do for a living with others. Society is tremendously judgmental and leaves little wiggle room for others’ own definitions of morality. As a result, to maintain your relationships and continue building bonds with those you love, it’s possible that you don’t ever anticipate sharing the details of your work with your friends and family members. Additionally, you are under strict requirements to uphold the privacy of each of your clients. They seek out entertainment and affection from you, with the expectation of your arrangement remaining highly confidential. Under no conditions should you ever reveal your intimate knowledge of a customer or how you are associated with him. You are, indirectly, responsible for helping him maintain his reputation and relationships with your promise of discretion.
You appreciate cash. Unless you’re working for an agency which deals in direct deposits, your days of dealing with electronic funds are in the past. Every customer pays for your services using cash. With cash, there is no paper trail. There is no evidence about how he is spending his money or where it’s going. For you, there is no connection to any of your clients that can come back on you for any reason. Dealing with cash with your clients is the best way when you’re an escort. However, when you want to put money into the bank, apply for a credit card or pay bills online, the arrangement poses to be more of a problem. Some banks seriously question when all of your deposits are made with cash. They like to see some sort of income through paychecks or direct deposits as evidence of your profession. (It makes them feel more comfortable and less likely that they are helping you launder money illegally.) They may insist on knowing where your funds are coming from. If you have difficulties with your bank, it will mean that you can’t utilize online payment options. And, finally, without a bank account showing evidence of your income, no credit card company or lender will give you credit. It’s a no-win situation, even when you have plenty of cash in hand.
You can shave there. Yep. The reality sinks in. Regardless of the type of provider you are, shaving/waxing/hair removal in certain “private” areas is pretty much an ongoing requirement. All of the time. Getting lazy and failing to “tend the garden” is not allowable. Your clients depend on you to stay neatly trimmed and manicured in all ways. Getting lazy for a few days and letting straggling hairs or stubble grow won’t produce the satisfactory image that your customers are accustomed to. When you work other places, nobody knows whether you shaved your legs or underarms, if you don’t want them to. You can hide the fact that you ran out of time or got lazy with layers of clothing that disguise it. But, as an adult service provider, your body is your temple and constantly on show. And, your customers will notice any ways that you’ve lacked tending to your appearance.
An hour is a really long time. In reality, an hour is just four percent of your entire day. But, when you’re with a client who is unpleasant, an hour is an EXTREMELY long time. Even though it’s a terrible practice to get into as a provider, it’s likely that you start watching the clock and counting down the minutes (slowly) until your encounter or gig is over. Distracting yourself with whatever you can bring to mind is one way to pass the time more quickly. Or, changing your customer’s focus is another excellent way to engage him and make the time more bearable. Before becoming a provider, you probably couldn’t estimate how long an hour was based on just time. But, after spending time with clients, you have definitive ways of determining when time is nearly up. Thank goodness, sometimes!
You are a lingerie connoisseur. In the past, you may have been content to wear a pretty little push-up bra and matching panty set. But, now as a provider, your style may have really changed. From the truly risqué to more demure, you have likely transitioned to new trends that really get your clients’ motors running. You learn what they like and how to accentuate your assets better. From the standard bikini or thong cut, you’ve matured to the cheeky boy short or French cut styles. Your bras may be bustiers versus a simple t-shirt bra version. The quality of your lingerie may have improved, too. As it’s a staple in your wardrobe that your customers actually see, it’s more imperative that it have a more expensive touch, feel and look to it. They expect more from you, and you have to provide that. Bargain rack lingerie won’t cut it in your industry as a high-class provider.
Your personal safety is your responsibility. Of course, you have to always be on point when you go somewhere to make sure you are safe. In today’s world, that is an unfortunate situation. However, it’s not something you probably stew over seriously. But, as an adult entertainment provider, it’s a much more sincere issue. When you book private time with a client or for a gig at a party, your safety should be deal-breaking criteria. Proper screening sucks up a lot of your time as you book clients, but it’s a no-brainer compared to the risks you are taking. Choosing to meet up with a dangerous client who has ill intentions could mean your death. There are bad customers out there who would rather hurt you than enjoy your company. And, when you’re a provider of adult entertainment, you run into all kinds of folks — good AND bad. Previously, you probably didn’t ever think you’d be involved in a career where you had to worry about coming back from an appointment safely. Now, it’s becoming second nature.
Sex appeal makes the world go round. The media demonstrates surely that sex is powerful. Advertising is strongly centered around sex and the power of attraction. However, in your personal situations, you probably never experienced just how strong of a factor it is. After becoming a provider, you’ve learned that proper flirting with your customers is just as intoxicating for them as strong liquor. Your sex appeal that you exhibit through confidence, beauty and wit strings your clients along and entices them to do things they normally wouldn’t consider. They are consumed with hormonal energies and desire the physical release that is promised to them by their arousal. Your abilities to seduce and excite your customers ensures your success, as they will continue to come back for more of your attention.
Stereotyping is even more inaccurate. Judging a book by its cover is something nearly everyone does. It’s easy to see someone in passing and assume a great many things about his temperament, preferences or role in life. However, once you get to know someone, those stereotypes are often wholly wrong. As an adult services provider, it’s pretty common to discover that what you thought was true about a client is completely off the mark. For instance, many providers assume that a client will be conservative and meek in nature based on his appearance, only to find out that he’s quite a social deviant underneath. Often, customers who seem to be the most successful have the worst relationships. Generally, providers learn that their clients don’t fit any certain molds. They are truly unique individuals and run the gamut of expectations. There is very little prediction involved with customers, because you never know exactly what they are going to do or want. (This is true unless you’ve met with the customer several times and have come to learn his trends.)
There are MANY acronyms in the adult industry. Never before would you have been bothered to know what OWO or GFE meant. (OWO = oral without, GFE = girlfriend experience) But, when you are an adult entertainer, these acronyms help you navigate a very specific world filled with requests that are just as varied as your clients. They want to know which services you provide and will ask using these acronyms as a way to save time and avoid disclosing other information to anyone who “might be listening.” These abbreviations are also a demonstration of who is “hip” to the industry and who is not. Knowing how to respond to these abbreviations takes doing a little homework, but comes as second nature after awhile. But, it’s still something you probably never gave a second thought to before becoming immersed into the industry. It’s much like any other industry, though — there’s always a language associated with those who are involved with it.
Technology can actually be useful. In the escort industry, much of your success is dependent on technology. Without a good smart phone that allows you to take and post pictures, receive email messages and respond to phone calls and texts, you will be left out in the dirt. Communicating with clients is essential when you are a provider. If you aren’t reachable in a convenient fashion, they will find another provider who is. If you’re a webcam performer, you have to have a good quality laptop with webcam so that you can transmit your images and activities to your customers online. Many escorts and exotic dancers rely on music accompaniment through their handy iPods or streaming music through their phones. Timing your encounters or gigs is often dependent on your phone, too, along with scheduling clients and keeping track of where you’re supposed to be. Without technology and the ability to use it on the fly, you’d be way behind the curve as a provider.
Selfies can be useful. Everybody loves a good selfie. But, for adult services providers, selfies are one of the most proficient ways you have of reaching out to your customer base. They are always looking for new content from you on your profile and other marketing efforts. Posting a selfie is a great way to attract their attention. And, quality selfies are much, much cheaper than professional photography. If you have a good photo editor and a great way of creating a self-image, selfies are a great way to promote yourself. However, there is still a need for professional photography in your business. (In fact, though, you never thought you’d ever need more than a headshot for your career.) Photos that show the many differences in your personality will help you attract more customers and entice them to inquire about your services.
Intimacy doesn’t equal sex. Before becoming a provider, it’s pretty likely that you didn’t give a second thought to the fact that sex is much different than intimacy. To many people, the two go hand in hand. But, in your line of business, you’ve probably learned that the two are quite independent of each other. Some of your clients may request intimacy from you and never once desire sexual contact. While others may want sex, they avoid intimacy at all costs. It’s quite a different world where the two do not interact with each other that frequently. Many clients need different things, but they don’t always require intimacy and sexual contact at the same time. It’s a unique set of standards that you wouldn’t have ever predicted.